Rabbit Holes

In Alice in Wonderland, Alice falls down a rabbit hole into a strange new world. Call me Alice.

I keep thinking that she's all here but really, it's I who am in the rabbit hole. This is a brave new world and I really need to come to grips with it.

What was it this morning? Nothing, and that's what's scary. This morning, Mummy woke up and instead of making her way downstairs to get her breakfast, she stayed in her room, fiddling with bits and pieces lying on her chest of drawers. The ability to determine that it's morning, my first priority should be food and water, simply no longer exists. So I had to push her out of her room to go downstairs and eat. As usual, the refrain was, "You haven't eaten in more than twelve hours. Food should be your first priority", but as in all things, there being no sense of time (and, I've discovered, no ability to translate sensations from the stomach into "I'm hungry"), that refrain is met with a blank stare.

She got downstairs and sat at her usual place in front of the prepared meal and....nothing. My sister had to instruct her to drink the water set out for her. It's clear that we're getting to the place where every meal will require direct instruction to eat. Actually, we're there already. She will frequently sit in front of a prepared meal for several minutes, neither looking at the food nor eating it. I have come to the point where I can just keep moving, but you do have to circle back to ensure that some consumption is occurring.

This is the rabbit hole. I wonder where we'll be going next?