So here's what I'm thinking this morning: I'm thinking that Whoopi Goldberg, whom I respect a great deal, has an indomitable will. Here's why I say that. For years, Whoopi has had a fear of flying. No biggie, plenty of folk have that problem. As a performer, however, that could potentially be a serious problem. Think of all the London and Paris gigs she just couldn't take. For her local bookings, she would ride the bus. HER bus. Apparently, she's had a great bus for years and has traveled from show to show in fabulous comfort. But she's always been landlocked. (At this point you're probably asking yourself, what Whoopi has to do with my mother and Alzheimer's Disease. Give me a moment, I'll get there. You might even have an "Ah ha" moment. X <=== fingers crossed.)
About 2 years ago though, Whoopi went through a fairly extensive process of trying to conquer that fear. She alone knew why she had decided that the time was right to break the back of that fear. Now, I'm thinking we all know: Sister Act on Broadway. This week, Whoopi's Sister Act is playing in Paris and so that's where she is.
Here's the story I've made up to explain the course of events: Whoopi had the idea, or the idea was put to her, to bring Sister Act to Broadway. At some point she realized that the thing might be sufficiently successful to need to do international shows and voilà, the need to conquer the fear of flying. For all I know, the one thing had nothing to do with the other, but I kinda like my story line.
Here's how this connects to AD: by doing what she most feared when there was no pressure, when there was no dire need to do that thing, she could do it on her terms. She could do it calmly. She could get to a place of peace with what she needed to do without the additional pressure of a time constraint. By the time she needed to do that which she had feared (flying), she no longer feared it. Translation: by having the dreaded conversation and putting things in place to deal with ugly reality before ugly reality hits, when ugly reality hits, there are no dreaded conversations needed. That which you most feared has long been exposed to the light, dealt with sanely and without the additional stress of immediate need. When the bell rings and it's "Go" time, you are ready and able to go. Will there be stress? Certainly. I've no doubt that Whoopi feels some stress when she flies, but she's not a basket case.
So will you be a weary dog hunkered down in a basket (Photobucket's idea of 'basket case' for some reason) or will you be a warrior, ready for the battles ahead? Your choice. You know my choice, and you know where I ended up.