It suddenly occurred to me today that my life might be unattractive to some.
Think about it. I've got this situation at home with my mother which obviously occupies a great deal of mind space. While I am not depressed by it, I am informed by it. I have difficulty just jumping up and running out to have a drink (was never much of a drinker to begin with, so this situation makes me even less so). So I wonder, to what extent does my life situation make me a less-than-attractive friend?
This is an academic question really, since there isn't anything that I can (or want) to do about my current set of circumstances, but it did suddenly occur to me that my universe probably excludes some people naturally. I have noticed for example, a lower tolerance for certain things. People who can find no source of pleasure or happiness in their lives for example, weary me very quickly. Having not always been a one who looked on the bright side of things, I do try to be patient, but a commitment to unhappiness (and a refusal to get the right kind of help) is just not something I can easily countenance.
My situation may be acting to cull my circle of friends. If this is the case then so must it be, because in life, as in nature, a culling of the herd is sometimes critical to the survival of the herd. Moreover, as I've had to say in other fora, if it comes down to choosing between my mother - imperfect though she may be - and some other, we should just call the competition off. There is no competition. Barbs wins every time. Hands down.
I guess now I understand why people join support groups. Me, I have my blog and my sister and niece. And often, I also have Mummy.